Psalm 116 : 1-2
I love the LORD, because he has heard
my voice and my please for mercy.
Because he inclined his ear to me,
therefore I will call on him as long as I live
8-9
For you have delivered my soul from death,
15-19
Precious in the sight of the Lord
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant.
and call on the name of the Lord.
I will pay my vows to the Lord
in the presence of all his people,
in the courts of the house of the Lord,
A year ago, I layed wide awake in my bed thinking about what this night would be like. The night before Thanksgiving. How far away from home I would be. I couldn't fully imagine it and yet somehow I had almost this melodramatic idea of the sacrifice it would be. While I miss my family with all of my heart, God is my Sustainer. He has prepared my heart for this day and in it I find peace and joy. It seems strange that 1 year later on the same night I would find myself wide awake. I am thankful for the past year. The testing of faith and trust. The joy of fulfilled prayers and longings. The peacefulness of this night, where I can praise God for knowing him better tonight than I did 1 year ago. For having gained just a glimpse of understanding and falling more in love with my King.
I "stumbled" upon this psalm the other day while I was reading in my journal of the year and a half journey of coming here. As I read the psalm, tears welled up in my eyes because I could not have expressed the journey the Lord has brought me on any clearer! God is so good! When I first arrived in this new place, there were so many new changes! I knew that this where God had me, there was no question about that! But how could I do this? The presence of the Lord seemed so far away and I guess I had thought that because I was stepping out in obedience that I would know his presence like never before. That I would somehow magically know him better. But as I looked around me I had comfort and peace but also an overwhelming feeling of "what have I gotten myself into!" I cried out before the LORD to have mercy on me! To give me peace and understanding! Day after day as I went before my King and Ordainer I grew in peace. He inclined his ear to me.
He is my constant! He is my provider! He is my sustainer! He is my everything! Looking back, I can declare with full confidence that He is everything and He is enough! He saved my very soul from the clutches of hell, chose me and molded me into his child. As he grows and sustains me he keeps me close when life is painful. He keeps my feet on the path and keeps me close by to keep me from stumbling. He gives me the strength and confidence in Him to carry on each day and declare His Glory! Because of all that I have seen I will walk before my Lord in trust having seen his faithfulness!
