To Be with Him

I was walking from school when I saw their little faces light up. All the way down the street I watched as they jumped off the wall they had been playing on. With some curious onlookers, I crouched down right where I was and waited while they ran the distance of the street. As they ran the street my eyes teared up and I opened my arms. I laughed as they about knocked me over in their excitement as I hugged and kissed them. These were some of my precious street kids that I hadn't seen in several weeks. In that simple unexpected, undefined moment; I felt the love of Jesus. My heart was blessed as they grabbed my hands and walked with me; wanting nothing but love and attention as they talked a mile a minute. My heart smiled.

I thought of Jesus and the delight when we run to him with no expectation, need, or want but to sit in his attention and love. When we willingly and enthusiastically run to him; eager to just be with him. And I wonder... how often do I run to him for no purpose but to treasure time with him or do I only go when I have a request. I am thankful for His Grace and Mercy which overflows my shortcomings but Oh Lord- help me to run to you just to BE with you.

A Week In The Village

It has been an embarrassingly long time since I have blogged; which does not at all mean that there has been nothing exciting happening and certainly more than enough humbling moments. The problem is simply- time. However, now with hartals abundant, time is what I have.

The most exciting adventure of the year begins the day after Christmas. Krikkit and I were excited to get an invitation to spend a week in Mymensingh with one of our beloved Bangladeshi families. I couldn't begin to express the excitement, laughter, joy, adventure, and pure bliss of the week. Because my words just couldn't do it... here is an collection of eclectic pictures that might help to understand what the week looked like.

Yushea and his uncle walking to get another bus. Yushea insisted on carrying the largest
suitcase. After a while, when we started the mile hike into
the village it switched to something like this... 

We stopped by the school. It was the day they were reading allowed the exams
we were asked to sit right in the front while they read the results out loud in front of
everyone and then were sifted between those that passed and those that failed. talk about pressure!

we went to visit the school- Poppry wanted to see the 5th grade classroom
and well- here it is! This room for around 40 kids

cooking breakfast over the stove

we went to visit this girl on her wedding day as she was being prepared for the ceremony

Grandma looking over the rice fields- she is one of the hardest workers I have ever met!

Cooking over the whole in the ground stove. The food was always delicious
though not the most sanitary- I mean look at all the chickens! But I was so thankful all the
ladies let me help- although usually I was just the entertainment before the serious work!

Just Hanging out with the family eating dried fish- Yushea ate all the  fish head- what a shame (sarcasm noted)

I am pretty sure we held every new born baby in the village-
this one was just a few  weeks old- her mom begged us to take her home
with us to live in the states

Yushea LOVES cows! he thought having a cow in your home
was the coolest thing ever! and just didn't understand why his dad wouldn't
let him have one in their home. This house was half barn and half home.

Grandma taught me how to make rice flour. Women in BD taking cooking to a whole new level.
The women couldn't believe that I had never made flour before- oh Americans! But Grandma was so
sweet and allowed me to help her as she worked from sun up to sun down! 

playing soccer barefoot in the rice fields! these people know how to
play soccer! It was one of the highlights of my trip to be able to play with them 

we were pretty much surrounded by people 24/7. Here we were just
sitting to eat some fruit, which turned into a village show. Everyone  was always
wondering where we were and we were never without a crowd. Our first day it was suggested that we take a nap
we wholeheartedly agreed. what we didn't realize was that we were going to lay on the bed while
7 people stood around us and watched us sleep- 4 minutes later we were "woken up" to go to a wedding
- not my ideal nap! :) 

Yushea pretending to be a cow on top of a hay pile. Often that week  I heard
"Jen coatie? Jen Asho! Apni r ami goru!"
aka "where's Jen. Come Here Jen! You and I are cows!"

oh how I adore this little boy!
cows and all! 

and with many more adventures and moments to be filled in...

Sacrifice to Blessing

It's been a whirlwind three months since I have even considered blogging...so much for my new resolve to blog more frequently! But here is what I have learned these months. God is faithful and God is good, He lavishly pours blessing out on His children. It took me a long time to believe that my God; the creator of the world, cared so intimately about me... a sinner in desperate need of His Grace.

Somewhere in the last year, my heart changed. I began to cling to His promise and embrace the truth of His Love! As my heart changed I began to change...my time with Him became so intimately precious and rejuvenating. Going home this summer was treasured weeks. The Lord's outpouring of blessing. I met my handsome nephew, was refreshed in spirit, and was able to continuously declare who my sweet and Holy God is. I couldn't have asked or dreamed of more.

Now I am back and oh how precious it is. It is time filled, feet tired, and brain swamped moments and yet it is also joy filled, hope resounding, and love overflowing declarations. I have begun to realize that often times, the moments that I look up on as "great sacrifices" have turned into "great blessing." Some of the most difficult and painful moments have led to the sweetest and most rewarding endeavors. Coming to South Asia being one of them. As I boarded the plane for the second time I was overcome with the change of the second time around. The first time was sad, ok I teared up a little, and overwhelmed with all that I was leaving behind. But this time, I smiled as I anticipated what laid ahead. Knowing, because it always is, going to be much different than I expected (and it is). I looked with anticipation because the Lord has shown me that whatever is ahead He is faithful and worthy.The most "sacrificial moments" in my life have put me in a place to receive His precious blessing. So I look ahead....to whatever the Lord has.... knowing that when I feel the most "sacrificial" I am just being set up to receive the Great Blessing of knowing Him.

"Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it."   1 Thessalonians 5: 23-24

More than enough

It's one of those nights... too hot to sleep and the power is out...again. By 1 am you can only imagine all the different things that have run through my prayers at this point. From  honest pleas  of souls to be saved to selfish requests of mercy that the power would come back on. It's on nights like this ( and they have been a few too often lately) that I begin to ponder through the last year. All that God has done. How He has changed me, ways that I still need to change, and honest reflections of who I have seen God to be.

I suppose because it was the last day teaching my high schoolers this year, or because it's 1 am, or incredibly hot that I am more emotional than normal but I was looking through my prayer journal and stopped at the day I was leaving America. I was sitting on the plane and in my journal was begging God, "please, please... be enough." Don't send me and then not be enough for me. My pleading followed by the still voice of God saying... "I am." The longer I sat tonight and looked back I am so thankful to say that He is enough.  Often times we don't follow the Lord's leading or prompting because we are afraid that He is not going to be enough. I think of the number of times over the past 23 years that the Lord has prompted me to act in obedience in sharing His Truth, or in giving, or in acting in His spirit... and then  I stop... because I am not sure that He will be enough if I am rejected by the world.

But He is...  He is steadfast love, He is patience,  He is joy, He is peace,  He is faithfulness, He is hope, He is comfort, He is Almighty, He is ENOUGH... to forsake all earthly things for the sake of following Him.
He is more than enough....

A week with my mom!

I am Alive!!! It has been way too long since I have blogged!! I am far behind in every area of communication. Right in the middle of February I had a breath of exciting fresh air breeze in. My mom came to visit!! It was only a week but we packed every minute full!!

I helped out with our school's High School drama production The Lady Pirates of Captain Bree. I loved the time spent with the students doing som

ething we all loved. (outside of school... of course they love every moment in the classroom!) : ) On Friday and Saturday night my mom came not once but TWICE to the school's production! What a trooper! Friday night she came right from the airport. The kids were out of their minds excited to meet her and the three hours leading up to her arrival was filled with students asking when she would finally arrive every 4 -5 minutes. They came pretty close to being as excited as I was.

Saturday morning I took my mom to Hawkers. A market filled with western clothes that haven't been exported because of either defects or mass quantity. We had a blast looking at all kinds of fabric, bartering, and digging through the unknowns. My favorite moment was

when I asked the shopkeeper if they had more of a fabric. He said yes (with a head nod) and preceded to climb up piles of fabric, open a trap door in the ceiling, and disappear in the trap door

. Then down he came again with the material we had asked for. I didn't think anything of this until I looked over at my mom and saw her look of laughter/surprise. Oh the surprises that await in South Asia. I then took her to my favorite store called "moonshine" for some Diet Pepsi.

Sunday through Thursday I brought my mom to school with me. She surprised them with some special little treat bags. Sunday after school we went to one of our favorite orphanages. Monday after school we went to Aarong's where we loaded my mom up with souvenirs to take back to the states and had a delightful dinner on the Long's rooftop.Tuesday was a fun day! We had the day off school so we went down to Malumghat. It is only 60 m

iles away but takes 3 hours to get there. We took a tour of the hospital and enjoyed walking through the compound. We had a delightful lunch of chicken quesadillas with mango salsa. Ending the day with a trip to Heart House, a place where women who can't get a job; because of disabilities or being widowed, make homemade items. After a fun and exhausting day we made the trip home. Wednesday we had a wonderful day at school and my mom and I set up for our big "Snow Day!!" and ended the day with some quality time of my mom and I at an Indian restaurant. Then the fun on Thursday began!My mom and I set up my room to have a Mountain and snow background. We hung snowflakes all around the room and blew up frosty! Our final touch was a dvd playing of a fireplace. The students walked in to their first official "Snow Day!" We had coffee, cha (Bangla tea), brownies, cookies, chonachur (Bengali chex mix), marshmallows, and Games!!! The students did everything from make frosty, a modified snowball fight, and indoor volleyball; all to the crackling fireplace and snow falling. And of course it wouldn't be games if there weren't prizes. I think that my mom and I had as much fun as the kids!! We ended our day getting all dressed up in Sari's and going to a friend's wedding.

We ended our incredibly fun week with Bible Study, lunch, and packing. We made our final trek to Dhaka and had to say goodbye! I can hardly believe it's been 3 weeks since she has been here!! It was a whirlwind but blessing of a week! I loved that my mom threw herself into my life for a week and trudged through the Jet Lag to bless me with her love and encouragement on the other side of the world! What a sweet blessing of God she is!

Proverbs 31: 28 "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

Faith without works

It always amazes me of the power that is found when you sit before the throne of our King. No matter the turmoil that you feel or the distress that the world suffers around us there is true peace when kneeling before our Lord. As beautiful as this time is, I was reminded today of the power of our works. We cannot consistently remain in our quiet times with the Lord; at last we must get off our knees and do the work he has laid out before us. But oh how sweet and sustaining those moments are. It is the moments at his feet that give us the strength to stand up in the raging sea and declare His Glory with our works.

Matt 5:14-16

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

ESV

James 2:18-21

But someone will say, "You have faith and I have works." Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. 19 You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe—and shudder! 20 Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless?

ESV

Through our works the power and Glory of our God is revealed. Our faith is useless without the acting out of our faith. Do my works declare the God of mercy, grace, love, kindness, joy, peace, and power. The works that I do, declare who my God is... it is the proof of where my faith lies. I am far from a pure declaration of our Glorious God but how I pray that He will use me to bring himself glory. Each morning as I get off my knees may the Lord use the quiet to sustain me as He works in and through me in the midst of the raging the world. Oh my King be glorified!

Christmas....

It has been so long since I have blogged. Mostly because every time I look at my computer screen, I think, where do I begin? There are about 15 half started blog posts of the last month and a half. I thought that being here I would be even more inspired to write, but most of the time I simply feel at a loss of words to explain this vastly different world. All that to say, I have been a very bad blogger. But here goes the last few weeks.

I spent my first Christmas away from home. In some ways it was harder than expected and other ways easier. God was abundantly gracious as He always is and provided me with dear friends. We worked hard to carry on all of our family traditions here in South Asia. We did everything from Christmas movies, hot chocolate, matching pajamas, sleeping under the Christmas tree, making Christmas breakfast, stuffing stockings, and wrapping presents. Among our traditional moments we took part in the national traditions of Christmas as well including visiting homes on Christmas and going to church on Christmas day. I had a Christmas party for my 9th grade students. We had a blast and I had the chance to talk about the true meaning of Christmas.

There is something in being away from home that really makes you stop and think about the true purpose and meaning of Christmas. Without Christmas lights, Christmas music, snow, the hustle and bustle, the Christmas greetings, family, home, or the entire Christmas atmosphere; I felt that I had to strive harder to enjoy the Christmas season. For the first time I thought of the unromanticized version of the Christmas story. The fact that Mary probably felt lonely and scared. Her family wasn't with her, she probably barely new her new husband Joseph, she had just traveled hundreds of miles to Bethlehem. And I wonder if she wondered... where is God in the midst of this? Where is he? She stepped out in obedience to His will and yet everyone turned on her, she was alone with Joseph, and she was delivering in a manger. But God was there, right there with her. Never leaving or forsaking her; using her to deliver the Savior of the world. Oh how I pray that I would never forget the true purpose of Christmas. For the Son of God to come to this earth and live a perfect and blameless life. Fighting and conquering sin and temptation so that He could die on the cross perfect, taking on the sins of this world. Conquering death so that I might have a relationship with the father, be sanctified by the Holy Spirit and spend eternity singing His Glorious praises.

He has heard my voice

Psalm 116 : 1-2

I love the LORD, because he has heard

my voice and my please for mercy.

Because he inclined his ear to me,

therefore I will call on him as long as I live

8-9

For you have delivered my soul from death,

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling;

I will walk before the Lord

in the land of the living.

15-19

Precious in the sight of the Lord

is the death of his saints.

O Lord, I am your servant;

I am your servant, the son of your maidservant.

You have loosed my bonds.

I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving

and call on the name of the Lord.

I will pay my vows to the Lord

in the presence of all his people,

in the courts of the house of the Lord,

in your midst, O Jerusalem.

Praise the Lord!

A year ago, I layed wide awake in my bed thinking about what this night would be like. The night before Thanksgiving. How far away from home I would be. I couldn't fully imagine it and yet somehow I had almost this melodramatic idea of the sacrifice it would be. While I miss my family with all of my heart, God is my Sustainer. He has prepared my heart for this day and in it I find peace and joy. It seems strange that 1 year later on the same night I would find myself wide awake. I am thankful for the past year. The testing of faith and trust. The joy of fulfilled prayers and longings. The peacefulness of this night, where I can praise God for knowing him better tonight than I did 1 year ago. For having gained just a glimpse of understanding and falling more in love with my King.

I "stumbled" upon this psalm the other day while I was reading in my journal of the year and a half journey of coming here. As I read the psalm, tears welled up in my eyes because I could not have expressed the journey the Lord has brought me on any clearer! God is so good! When I first arrived in this new place, there were so many new changes! I knew that this where God had me, there was no question about that! But how could I do this? The presence of the Lord seemed so far away and I guess I had thought that because I was stepping out in obedience that I would know his presence like never before. That I would somehow magically know him better. But as I looked around me I had comfort and peace but also an overwhelming feeling of "what have I gotten myself into!" I cried out before the LORD to have mercy on me! To give me peace and understanding! Day after day as I went before my King and Ordainer I grew in peace. He inclined his ear to me.

He is my constant! He is my provider! He is my sustainer! He is my everything! Looking back, I can declare with full confidence that He is everything and He is enough! He saved my very soul from the clutches of hell, chose me and molded me into his child. As he grows and sustains me he keeps me close when life is painful. He keeps my feet on the path and keeps me close by to keep me from stumbling. He gives me the strength and confidence in Him to carry on each day and declare His Glory! Because of all that I have seen I will walk before my Lord in trust having seen his faithfulness!

Filled to Remember

These last few weeks have been so filled it is hard to keep up on it all. We had a week off school for Durga Puja which is a Hindu holiday. During that week we left the city for a week in Malumghat. Which is 50 miles away but takes about 4 hours to get there. It sits right outside of a village and has a hospital where part of our team treats patients 24/7. It was a great week of rest and enjoyment with the rest of our team. It was a g

reat time of encouragement and fellowship all being together. It was also so informative to see all the extra tasks and jobs that our team has taken on. Praise the Lord for such dedicated people! Most of these people are doing the work of 4-5 people. They work hard and all to the Glory of God!

The week ended with the greatest experience since I have been in South Asia. I slept over an orphanage with a few other girls. There are 12 kids in the home and they are so deeply cherished and loved by their house mom and dad. They don't have much but they are clean, smiling, and joyous. Most importantly, they are developing a true relationship with God and learning the Truth. We all had dinner with many smiles and laughter even

though our language was quite the barrier. We sang songs to our hearts content, songs in our language and theirs, with and without hand motions, and we sang with all of our souls. Oh the joy of worshiping our God together! We played a few games and just enjoyed our evening. I went to sleep after tucking the kids into bed thinking that my heart c

ould not hold much more joy and the love I already had for these precious children couldn't possibly grow deeper but I was so wrong!

Their faith and joy does not match my own but rather far exceeds what little faith I

possess. Their dedication to Christ and their ways are an incredible challenge to my life. The last 24 hours was a true example of having the faith of a child. We woke up at 6am to the c

hildren singing praises and lifting prayers to the

Lord. They had already been up for a 1/2 hour reading their bibles and were now worshiping their father. These are children who wake up at 5:30am so that they can enjoy pure worship of their father before they go to school 6 days a week. How often do I not cherish the worship of my father enough to arise early and sit before his throne.

We surprised them at breakfast with the announcement that we were going to go the local water park! Some of the kids had never been to a pool before and others just didn't know how to swim. Fully clothed (because that's how we do swimming here) we headed off to the water park. We had a blast! We went down water slides, went in a wave pool, a playground pool, and tube slides. Every motherly instinct I have ever had was in me as I wa

tched "my kids" come down the slide into a pool of water they didn't know how to swim in but the joy and smile on their face was absolutely priceless. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing. After several hours at the park we trekked our way back home to a delicious lunch. I didn't want to leave- I am so thankful for such a sweet day. The children ar

e so loved, cherished, and taken care of at the home but when I l

ooked in their eyes or felt their clinging hugs I just wanted to sit there and hold them tightly back; reminding them of the love of their Father. Though their were traces of pain, their faces weren't those of the forgotten or of the pain stricken but sweet faces of the Redeemed trusting their Redeemer.

Through all the fun here is what my heart exploded with:

Faith and joy is not dependent on circumstances or people. It does not depend on what you have or who you know it is purely in the knowledge of God our father. Joy comes from obedience and knowing you are loved and chosen by the Father. As all that is around you changes nothing matters with your eyes fixed on Jesus. He will restore your broken heart and bring joy to your face. Children truly are an example to of faith. Oh to have the faith of a child as all around them crumbles and falls they fix their eyes and desire soly on Jesus trusting Him and His ways. Knowing that He loves them. Knowing that He has chosen them and He will not forsake his chosen.

In His Grip,

Jen

The first few days

I am here! and all settled in. I have been here for about 5 days and we have already seen the Lord answer so many prayers. Thanks for the prayers in getting us here! After 20 hours on the plane we were exhausted. But it turned out that through some pretty funny and strange circumstances our luggage was untouched and waiting for us on carts when we arrived in the capital city. (Lets just say the funny circumstances included us waiting a very long time at the wrong baggage collection and then running across the airport... as if didn't already attract enough attention being the only foreigners) But God was so good... we had been a little nervous about getting our very heavy baggage of the baggage belt anyway... so instead the Lord went ahead of us and it was waiting for us on the carts. We went through customs (actually they just waved us through customs) to some very friendly faces holding a sign with our names on it. We had several hours to rest, regroup, and go back to the airport for our last 45 minute trip to our final destination. Our baggage was driven down to meet us at our house the next morning. A huge blessing when you see just how much baggage we had. It was such a huge relief to see our baggage and finally unpack. Not only had our bags gone untouched but everything was in great condition! (which was a huge miracle... considering all the other bags that came off that plane were torn apart and ripped to shreds. The Lord had definitely protected even our luggage.

We have spent the last few days buying new clothes (So much fun!!), taking the clothes to the tailor to be made, unpacking, walking throughout the city, going to school, setting up my classroom, looking at my curriculum, and attending a local meeting! I also ate with my hands for the first time and learned a few words in our new language. It has already been quite the adventure and I am slowly learning to adjust to the sights, sounds, and smells. We met these precious children on the street one of the girls knows them well and they recognized her immediately it was sweet moments in the midst of it all and reminded me of why I am here.

I have been constantly reminded through it all that this journey is not mine so I can trust where I am being led. What a blessing to know that I am not alone and while everything else changes; He does not. He is still faithful. And it reminds me- that is why I am here. Because those all around me don't know the God that I know; his love, mercy, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. They don't know the pure joy of knowing our Father. And I so desperately want them to know. My heart has already begun to break for these needing people.

"For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power, and love, and a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

In His Grip,

Jen

Nights of Prayer

Psalm 104: 27-35

These all look to you,
to give them their food in due season.
When you give it to them, they gather it up;
when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.
When you hide your face, they are dismayed;
when you take away their breath, they die
and return to their dust.
When you send forth your Spirit,^[c] they are created,
and you renew the face of the ground.

May the glory of the LORD endure forever;
may the LORD rejoice in his works,
who looks on the earth and it trembles,
who touches the mountains and they smoke!
I will sing to the LORD as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my God while I have being.
May my meditation be pleasing to him,
for I rejoice in the LORD.
Let sinners be consumed from the earth,
and let the wicked be no more!
Bless the LORD, O my soul! Praise the LORD!

For the past four years on this very night I would join in Liberty University's all night of prayer. On those nights my prayers would range from restlessness to peace, sinfulness to forgiveness, despair to hope. But the main theme of those prayers would be of brokenness. A prayer that would beg for the brokenness of my heart so that God would strip away and restore. It was four years ago on this very night that I was handed a glow stick. I was told that a glow stick cannot glow until it is broken... then... and only then can it shine brightly to the darkness around. And we... when broken before God... can be restored to purity and given the ability to shine to the darkness around.

Now just four years later... my night of prayer is no longer at Liberty but in the silence of my room. And this time... my night of prayer does not look to four years of college and the changes that will come but instead to two years in South Asia... and all that God will do through a broken and contrite heart. It is on the eve of change that I am reminded of the faithfulness and goodness of God. He has shown himself to be faithful! Bless the Lord oh my soul and remember his loving kindness and grace that has followed all the days of your life! Bless the lord oh my soul with all that is within me bless His holy name!

This past month has been busy as I finished up my work with the children’s ministry at my home church. I am so thankful for the opportunity to work those precious children. I also attended my ABWE training. It was such a great time of learning and encouragement. The time was beneficial and exciting as many last minute details were finalized.

While I was at training my financial support came in at 80%. What an encouragement and blessing! God has been so good! I was also given clearance to begin my two years overseas. I will be flying out on Saturday, September 3^rd. This next month will be filled with time with my family, packing, and goodbyes. My brother and sister-in-law are coming in for the first two weeks of August. I am excited for two weeks of vacation with my entire family! Then the packing and goodbyes begin.

I will arrive in South Asia on September 5^thWe will begin teacher training and in-service as we get ready for the new school year; school will begin on September 14^th. (A little late this year because of the Muslim Holiday Eid-ul-Fitr) This will give me some time to get settled, prepare my classroom and home, buy a whole new native wardrobe, and begin to build relationships with my students and community.

I am so thankful for each of you in my life. The prayers, support, love, and encouragement has blessed me more than I could ever fully express. God has been so gracious and faithful in these last few months. The date is set. The tickets are bought. Finances are at 80%. Praise the Lord that He is a God of details and order. He cares about the day to day moments and seeks Glory in each step that is taken. The gracious love of our Lord is at times overwhelming and always a wonder for those He calls his own. Oh, that I wouldn't forget these moments of praise and extreme delight as the Lord of this Universe turns his attention toward us and lavishly pours grace and mercy over us. Praise the Lord that in all moments He is God and has sovereignly ordained and designed each step taken.

In His Grip,

Jen Tarr

I bought my ticket! I am officially departing from JFK at 10:50pm on September 3rd! Which leaves just 34 days left in the states. I can hardly believe it. God has been so good and has answered so many detailed prayers. Praise the Lord that we serve a God that loves and cares about the details of our lives. He delights in us.

Some quick praises:

* bought my ticket

*finished my ABWE training- which was both encouraging and informative

*reached 80% in financial support

*was given clearance to leave on September 3rd

*my brother and sister-in-law coming tomorrow for two weeks

*my dad got off work for the next two weeks

*going on vacation with my family!

The gracious love of our Lord is at times overwhelming and always a wonder for those He calls his own. Oh, that I wouldn't forget these moments of praise and extreme delight as the Lord of this Universe turns his attention toward us and lavishly pours grace and mercy over us. Praise the Lord that in all moments He is God and has sovereignly ordained and designed each step taken.

We will Remember... the works of His hands

Today I went to start the beginning of my shots for South Asia. The shots were not too much in quantity. I needed Hepatitis A, Typhoid, and Rabies; but the cost for these 3 shots came close to $5,000. This is a huge chunk for my means... but He is always faithful to provide. He works in ways that we can't even imagine.

I arrived with my mom at the Apothecary to pick up the shots before I went to the travel clinic to have them administered. They took our insurance card. After quite a while of waiting... the nurse called us with a shocked look on her face. She informed us that our insurance covered the cost of traveling immunizations 100%. I shouted "Praise the Lord;" which left an equally shocked face on the nurse. The other nurse told us, equally shocked, that she had never seen these shots covered by insurance companies before! So we left with our shots; having paid $0.

What the nurse didn't realize was that we serve a God that goes beforehand and prepares the way for us to walk in. What the nurse didn't know was that God had moved my parents to change our insurance plan a year ago (just before anything happened with South Asia). What we didn't realize was that God would use that to cover my shots today. And what I didn't realize was how such a simple yet incredible act of God; would remind of how much He loves us and works out the details of our lives. Praise Him for caring about the details.

"We will remember, we will remember

We will remember the works of Your hands

We will stop and give you praise

For Great is your Faithfulness!

Hallelujah, hallelujah

To the one from whom all blessings flow

Hallelujah, hallelujah

To the one who glory has been shown."

Tommy Walker- We will Remember

He answers swiftly

Luke 18:1-8

And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’” And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”

For the last few weeks the Lord has been stirring Luke 18: 1-8 into my heart. Our small group studied the passage several weeks ago and it has echoed in my heart and mind ever since. In the midst of my doubt and unbelief the Lord has reminded me of the widow who came before the judge and persisted for justice. Through his annoyance the unrighteous judge finally agreed to hear her plea. But we serve a judge with grace, mercy, and compassion. One who is righteousness itself. And promises that those who are elect will have justice. The One who tells us that as we cry out to Him day and night not only does he hear us, but He will swiftly answer us. He is not the unrighteous judge who answers out of annoyance but instead The Judge who answers out of love.

It amazes me that even in the promises found in God's word and seeing His constant faithfulness; I still have the tendency to doubt. To doubt my Creator and Savior who is always good and seeks His Glory! In His blessings I am brought back to my knees before Him overwhelmed by how good he is; overwhelmed that He does keep His promises. That He does work for His good. That He does use those He has elected.

The blessings that have brought me back to my knees:

*In one week my support has jumped to 67%

*The Lord has provided someone to go with me-- Jeanne Arp

* The Lord has allowed me minister here in the states for the summer at Heritage Baptist Church

*The people the Lord has brought into my life to encourage me, lift me up, and bless my life

* Seeing so many great friends this week

He Goes out before us

Psalm 68: 7-10

O God, when you went out before your people,
when you marched through the wilderness,
the earth quaked, the heavens poured down rain,
before God, the One of Sinai,
before God, the God of Israel.

Rain in abundance, O God, you shed abroad;
you restored your inheritance as it languished;
your flock found a dwelling in it;
in your goodness, O God, you provided for the needy.

Today, I thought a lot about what it meant to go to South Asia. What is the worth of my ministry. Could it possibly make any difference? What is my purpose? I love to begin journeys by contemplating the end. What will it be like to come back in two years? What changes will I see in me... in my relationship with Christ... in my understanding of Scripture... in my heart for the world... for the poor... and for those who are lost? Who will I be?

In the midst of my thoughts today I came across this psalm. And I was reminded... that it is all about Him. My purpose... is His glory. My Worth... is in Him. My desires... are to be changed into His image. As moments of doubt in His faithfulness may come. I am reminded of His faithfulness throughout Scripture. Ruth, Naomi, David, Daniel, Moses, Hannah, Esther, Joseph, Abraham, and Isaac are incredible reminders of God's faithfulness to His children. When He goes before us the earth quakes.... mountain moves... and rain pours.

I praise the Lord for His faithfulness. Today I reached 40% of my financial needs. Even in my wonderment and doubt- He is still moving. He is still faithful. With 2 1/2 months left before I leave. I know that He has gone before me- for I am a child of Him. So I know that He will move-in His way- in His time.

Psalm 68: 32-35

O kingdoms of the earth, sing to God;
sing praises to the Lord,

to him who rides in the heavens, the ancient heavens;
behold, he sends out his voice, his mighty voice.

Ascribe power to God,
whose majesty is over Israel,
and whose power is in the skies.
Awesome is God from his sanctuary;
the God of Israel—he is the one who gives power and strength to his people.
Blessed be God!

It's already written

As graduation quickly approached and passed these past weeks, I was filled with the strangest emotions of sadness while saying goodbye but excitement that it was one less thing between me and South Asia. As I sat there during commencement; I thought back to the last four years. I am so thankful for every circumstance that I faced throughout those years. My relationship with the Lord has grown more than I knew was possible. I have been stretched, challenged, and refined through my years. While I know there is still lots of growing to do, I can't help thinking that these years of incubator learning are over. The friends I have made will always be a huge part of my experiences at Liberty- I am so thankful for the incredible blessing of those I have met. If I had known at the start of my freshman year what the next four years would hold, I would have realized I had reason to be nervous but not to be anxious. The next years would prove to me that God is faithful! That God is trustworthy! He is Sovereign! His Timing is Perfect! And that It is ALL for His Glory!!

Looking back, reminds me of just how faithful He is... even when I don't know or understand He was still working for His own glory! As I leave my world at Liberty and look to a new adventure, I take comfort and joy in knowing that as circumstances, people, and life changes- He will never Change. He is the same yesterday, today, and forevermore. Last year I was challenged by my pastor to not allow these last years be my greatest years in this life, but rather for it to be just the beginning of a wonderful journey serving the Lord. So I leave Liberty with a little more knowledge, a little more wisdom, and a little more understanding for what will come- the beginning of a journey that He has already written.

Always in His Grip...

Lavish Blessings!

We serve such a wonderfully personal God! The blessings he pours over us can at times be incredibly overwhelming! Tonight I was reminded of the grace of God! That he promises to continue the good work he has begun in us. What a blessing that I will not be left in my human body- with all of my faults, failures, and sin. What a blessing to know that the Holy Spirit will continue to break me of myself and fill me with the Spirit of God. That I will one day be released completely of my sinful body and my soul will worship the One True God with no restraints! Praise God that He is Lord of Lords.... that He is working.... and that He is the Ruler of this world- which He will one day reclaim! He is the answerer of prayers- He is the breaker of Spirits- He is the Redeemer! Praise God for He is God!

"As the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

continuously praising...

Praise God!!! As of today, I am officially at 30% of my funds raised... we serve a great God who is doing great things! Praise Him for His faithfulness!

He is God!

We serve a Great God! And though we don't know what is next or how we will get there.... we serve a God who is THE beginning and end. Praise God that He knows even when we do not! Praise God because He is God and deserves the Glory and we do not! Praise God because He is ruler of all, majestic, good, kind, loving, and faithful.... even when we are not... Praise God that His faithfulness is not contingent on our own... Praise God because He is GOD!

Psalm 118: 28-29

You are my God, and I will give thanks to you;
you are my God; I will extol you.

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
for his steadfast love endures forever!